Thundercat doesn’t remember whether he broke up with his ex-girlfriend or she broke up with him—perhaps he’s blocked it out—but what he does remember is that they broke up on February 14th. “Valentine’s Day is like placing a magnifying glass to the sun,” he says now. “It forces a person to evaluate a relationship. It brings up the question, ‘What is this?’”
Understandably, the soul-jazz singer-songwriter, producer, and bassist born Stephen Bruner has a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. “What I love about Valentine’s Day is that you possibly get to have sex. I don’t love how hard you have to work to have sex. But if you really like the person, you’ll want to go out of your way to show them you do. It’s a chance to show somebody, ‘Hey! I don’t think you’re a piece of shit. You're cool, cool enough to show you attention for a day.’ I usually choose my mom or my cat.”
“The hate part is the expectation...” he says. “To some degree, it’s a tell-all as to how you feel about a person. It’s a lot of pressure, especially for a cat person who isn’t into a lot of emotions. You got to take into account that I’m pretty emotionally scarred. I don’t like a lot of affection.”
And yet, the L.A. native’s preternatural funkiness—across his solo work and his collaborations with Kendrick Lamar, Erykah Badu, Flying Lotus, Kamasi Washington, and more—often offers a blanket of musical warmth. On his forthcoming fourth album, Drunk (out February 24), Thundercat opens up a little more, tackling matters of with candor and humor. “The way I make music is by observing, reporting how I feel, and mixing an element of therapy,” he says. “A lot of times, what I say on songs is pretty literal. I don’t dance around it by reading Greek mythology. We’re not having sex? Then this is terrible.”
Thundercat is just as blunt on his new *Drunk *single “Friend Zone,” which finds him calling the frightening grey area of unrequited love what it is—disheartening. Instead of pleading to be freed, he draws a boundary line: “Don’t call me, don’t text me after 2 a.m. unless you’re planning to give me some, because I have enough friends,” he sings atop cosmic keyboards, after big-upping “Mortal Kombat” and “Diablo.”
He sounds like he knows a thing or two about it, and about love in general. So we asked him for his friendzone litmus test, why cat people apparently struggle with romance, and his sure-fire romance tips for Valentine’s Day. Unless of course she breaks up with you first.
Pitchfork: How do you know when you’re in the friend zone?
Thundercat: Everyone’s been put in the friend zone. Seventy percent of the time, a person is not smart [enough] to know they’re in the zone. If you think, there’s a chance!, if you cuddle at 3 in the morning, if she calls whenever the album comes out—if you’re confused, you’re in the friend zone.
How would you describe the friend zone?
You can’t tell which way is up. A lot of times you just want to get laid. It’s like the animal kingdom: you fight or have sex. There’s no in-between. A lot of times it’s [as if] someone is trying to speak to you in a language you don’t understand.
What was your worst breakup?
There was one when my girlfriend thought I was actually crazy. Where the relationship ended, and she couldn’t tell if I was really crazy or not crazy. But, I was just being a regular old cat. She used to call me Turbo Steve. When I’d go into crazy mode she’d call me Turbo Steve. It led to a breakup that I didn’t really recover from very well, I’m learning to recover.
What does that version of you get crazy about?
It’s everything. John Malkovich’s [character Osbourne Cox] at the end of Burn After Reading is as close to how Turbo Steve feels. You just don’t know what the hell is going on. Everything is a bit perplexing in very, very harsh ways.
Any advice on how to tackle Valentine’s Day?
You just gotta pay. Pay for everything. Pay for flowers, chocolates, a bear, dinner, gas… You gotta buy her some shoes, but don’t buy yourself some shoes. If you do, then it’s not Valentine’s Day. [Laughs] But it’s an ongoing joke, as long as you pay everything will be fine.
Pay attention. Do something that makes the person feel like you pay attention and understand who they are. I’m personally a fan of getting someone something they like. ‘Oh, you like the Thundercats cartoon? I bought you a Simpsons shirt because you like cartoons.’ No. Get the person the thing they want.
You also make it romantic. Take them to dinner, look at them in their eyes, not at their forehead or elsewhere. Focus on the person.
Where are you with love now?
With new relationships, you can’t drag things over into your new relationship. You can’t talk about your ex-girlfriends too much. You can’t treat her like your ex-girlfriend. You have to look at things, as they come, as something new. You also want to give yourself time to figure stuff out yourself. Nowadays everything moves at a fast pace, you have to pick it up quicker. I know love exists, you just have to not be afraid of it because it can be intimidating. Especially with the life that I lead, kind of like a pirate. Love is not always just a feeling. Hopefully the person will be open to the moments that happen, and you don’t wear them out. It’s difficult as it is “dating a musician.” I didn’t realize until recently that that’s a* thing*, “dating a musician.”
What does that mean, exactly?
I think we get a bad rap for being so wild, not consistent, and always changing. There’s a denotation to not being depended on. I do love what I do, so there’s a possibility that I can love somebody. A lot of times, I’ll experience this in weird inflictions—like the dad of a girl I once dated was surprised I make a living out of music. ‘How’s that going for you?’ What? it’s what I do. And, your daughter likes me. Or they’d be passive-aggressive by pointing out artists they know that are in jail. What? What are you saying? [Laughs]
How much of a role does music play into who or how you date?
The truth is, and this may sound silly, you can tell the person you’re talking to by the person they listen to. A lot of the times that can be a way of looking at the person. You ever been in the car with someone and they put a song on and you just want to slap the shit out of them? What part of this is speaking to what part of you? When it didn’t work out, you’re like,* I remember that one time she played that one song and I almost jumped out of the car*. [Laughs] At the same time, you don’t want to be fickle or [act like] you can’t put up with the differences, but there has to be some similarities. You got to vibe with that person.
